Every Wednesday after school
Papa closes shop
Places out the wooden stool
Quickly, up I hop
‘Do not fidget, watch me closely’
Papa takes his blade
Eyes fixed firmly on the slab
Show I’m not afraid
Try not to be afraid
He slides the knife, the carcass slowly splays
‘My child’, he says 'je suis artist, pay attention'
So I hang on every word he says
And with a little tussle, he separates the muscle
And strips away the artery (ugh!)
And though it made me quiver when he handed me a liver
This is how he showed me that he loved me
Every Wednesday after school
So the weeks went by
Perching on my special stool
Waiting for my try
Papa sees me trembling
My stomach starts to churn
Handing me his giant knife
Says it is my turn (music)
Today it is my turn
‘Bring me Pierre, a pig is not a friend
He must be killed, you must do it, you will thank me
It is time for him to meet his end
I beg him not to push me, but all he does is shush me
‘You cannot change his destiny’ (poor Pierre)
I say I am too sickly, he says just do it quickly
This is how he showed me that he loved me
So I picked up Pierre
He oinked in surprise
With delicate care
I covered his eyes
I said a small prayer
And then I killed him…
But that was not enough to please my Papa
Next we bleed him, moving faster
Student learning from the master
Schling! Goes the blade
Slam goes the mallet
Entrails fall to the floor
He trims off the trotters
Pops out his eyes
And then comes back for more
Squish go the kidneys
Splurt go the brains
His body lying still
Crack go his ribs
And crunch goes his spine
Just so mama gets her fill…
Stop it Papa, no more
Leave me something to bury!
Every Wednesday after school
So I played my part
Silent on my special stool
With a broken heart
Learning how to name each bit of
the anatomy
But each snout reminds me of
My little piggy
My little dead piggy
He slides the knife, he does expertly
‘La Poule,’ he says, ‘grab the ketchup, and some lettuce
Your mother wants a BLT’
And because I am his daughter, I say yes to the slaughter
I cannot change my destiny (Oui Papa)
Although I am unwilling, I am party to the killing
And that's how Papa showed me
That's how I showed Papa that I loved him
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans. Bandcamp New & Notable May 29, 2020
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 18, 2019
This dry, wry, gently absurdist comedian's first album is the inaugural release for Tig Notaro's new label, Bentzen Ball Records. Bandcamp New & Notable Jul 13, 2016
